Fundamental Control of Your Mind

If you have tired of trying to prop yourself up and of trying all the quick fixes under the sun in a vain attempt to make yourself feel permanently better, then the time has come for you to submit to the process of working out what desires drive you and especially where you lack the adequacy of abilities to fulfil those desires. You might find this painful to do initially because most of us tend to put a lot of effort into denying and covering up our most crucial deficiencies. Indeed, many aspects of our social behaviour and even of our very civilisations encourage such denial. Such behaviours have become so ingrained that we consider it normal to deny the truth about ourselves and about other people and other social creations of humankind. However, just because the majority of people unquestioningly believe a concept doesn’t necessarily make it true. For centuries the majority of people believed that we lived on a flat earth and that the sun and planets revolved around it but all of the believing didn’t make it true.

Unless you already live the life that you dream of, scheme of and aspire to then you currently don’t have competency to deliver those desires. I stress the word ‘currently’ because you might well have the potential to fulfil many of those desires. Those things that you seek might not always remain impossible to fulfil but if you haven’t done so at this time then something has to change for that to happen.

In this 2-part article I describe how you can gain near total control of your mind so that you feel immediate relief from stress, so that you gain an immediate sense of well-being and so that you set free your enormous reserve of latent powers to do good things.

Fundamental – think about the construction of that word for a moment. It means ‘The Foundation of the Mind’ and I reveal that intriguing concept to you now.

Part I – My own story of discovery

In my life, I personally felt great pain, anguish, frustration and disappointment because I continually attempted to improve myself in terms of developing skills and experience, of gathering new knowledge and in creating methodical plans for achieving my desires but I rarely, if ever, got my desires. I kept working on all of the technicalities but I denied to myself that I didn’t have the character to fulfil these things. I spent years engaged in efforts to manifest things in my life that I could clearly see as technically possible (because some other people already did the same things) but about which I denied the improbability that I personally could fulfil them. I had put my faith in such ideas as, “You can do anything, if you truly believe it or truly want it,” and since I continually failed then I ended up hobbled because the logic of that statement clearly implied that I lacked faith and that I lacked desire and so I expended much effort vainly attempting to enhance my beliefs and desires. For a long time, I didn’t question the logic or merit of such a statement and I simply became stuck, immobilised and increasingly wretched. Fortunately I had the good sense and courage to question the validity of the teachings that I had read and had chosen to follow on setting goals, managing beliefs and desires. After deep and logical analysis I found much of the conventional wisdom that I had followed for years to be often wholly misguided, unsound and virtually unworkable.

I came to realise that despite my good intentions and despite my real and latent abilities that, by and large, when it came to pursuing ambitions I just bullshitted myself. I weaved wonderful webs of endless planning, endless preparation, of waiting for the right conditions, and quite simply of coming up with reasons and excuses surrounding all manner of external conditions as to why I personally could not move forward with fulfilling my desires. I could identify some deficits of character and of ability and I worked to improve them but I still remained immobilised in many important aspects because I could not admit to myself that I didn’t have what it takes to fulfil my fantastic desires.

In the end, and this bit really hurt, I had to admit that I had become an arch-fantasist. I sought to do things that had a wonderful appeal and that, if I could have fulfilled them, would have given me an unquestionably supreme life. I loved those fantasies and I loved thinking about the pleasures that I would get and how I would feel about myself. However, I continually failed to do one important thing that continually thwarted me. I failed to consider the probability of attaining such an outcome. Whilst I could make each fantasy, in theory, physically possible in the real world I rarely stopped to consider the likelihood that I could control both myself and events in the external world to such an extent that I could deliver these things.

At the time I didn’t know it but this foolish dreaming really kept me down and out. I felt torn between two forces – my higher level thinking and inspirational desires and my lower level thinking that kept me acting along more pragmatic lines. I could never understand why I seemed to undo myself so often and why I resisted pursuing my desires. I studied and developed myself and attempted to discover ways to fulfil my desires with as little risk as possible but I did not follow through. I simply seemed locked into a battle with myself.

I read a book called “The Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt, where he suggested his concept of considering this split aspect of the mind like an elephant and a rider. The rider represents the higher level and aspirational thinking and the elephant represents the lower level more autonomous functioning. The rider can see further than the elephant and can also conceive and plan out solutions to get better fulfilment of needs. The elephant doesn’t have much interest in this and normally feels happy to stay in one place if all basic needs get met and no risks to safety arise. However, the rider keeps prompting the elephant to move on and sometimes progress occurs, but only if the elephant wants to move. If the elephant does not want to move then the rider has no chance to control it. In fact, if pressed too hard the elephant will more than likely rebel and even do the complete opposite of what the rider wants. I tried using this concept to control my own thinking. I tried using fear to motivate my ‘elephant’ to move out of its comfort zone, as well as simultaneously describing the benefits that would occur from changing position. I developed Negative Affirmations as a way to get my truculent elephant to move and it worked – for a while. I still sometimes use Negative Affirmations to overcome inertia but once I have started in a new direction they lose effectiveness.

In the end I rejected the elephant and rider concept. I find that I can totally harmonise the functioning of my mind and its emotive capabilities if I seek only to fulfil desires that I have a very high probability of fulfilling and for which I already have the competencies to make progress and abilities to solve the problems that come along by myself and without recourse to relying upon luck or uncontrollable external factors.

Once I realised this and tested it on myself, I totally gave up the fantasising and became highly pragmatic. I still aspire to greater things but I do so from the totally practical basis of doing what I can with what I have where I find myself right now. I don’t seek to make leaps and bounds or to build upon unstable or simply non-existent foundations. I don’t fantasise and I don’t rely upon beliefs (Please remember that beliefs simply make facts out of imagined and unprovable things. They often have no basis in reality but we can use them to guide our actions in reality. If we hold on to ridiculous beliefs that encourage us to aspire to do the impossible, or near impossible, then we will generally prove unable to manifest our desires in reality and we will feel negative emotions and become immobilised as a result). These days, I speculate on the routes that I can take based upon my real abilities and where they might lead me. I follow the direction in which my abilities and the productive processes that I engage in take me. It feels very natural and I do not feel the internal resistance of the past because I now only engage in ‘ possible for me’ activities. Fortunately, with great care and consistent advancement in learning, we can aspire to do incredible things, but only if we set things up in the mind correctly so that we set possible desires with controllable outcomes.

I must admit that looking back now that I feel a bit of an idiot for having entertained so many fanciful fantasies and for holding some ridiculous beliefs but these things served a need at that time. In the past I felt a lot of frustration and unhappiness and the fantasies gave me some relief and gave me something to get through my immediate difficulties. I just didn’t realise that my dependency upon them created so many long-term difficulties. Judging from what I see, hear, read and experience, a lot of other people have similar problems…

When I admitted to myself that I bullshitted myself and that I either didn’t have the capability to fulfil my desires or else that I aspired too strongly for improbable outcomes I felt massive relief. Previously I could not get an understanding of what caused the problem and that left me in a quandary as to what to do to solve the problem. With admittance of the truth I could take beneficial actions. I threw out a lot of fanciful notions and desires and that provided massive emotional relief since our emotions spring forth from the difference between our desires and our ability to fulfil our desires. I almost never fulfilled my higher-level aspirational desires and so continuously felt lousy and perplexed. After going through this process of assessing the make-up and nature of my desires, I could next look at myself and rationally assess my abilities, my character, my resourcefulness, my knowledge, my experiences and take a clear look at the possibilities for incremental growth from that solid foundation.

If you find yourself in a similar situation to where I found myself then you need to take a look at your desires and scale them back to a more practical level where you can fulfil them right now or else regularly fulfil the steps that might take you to the end point you desire and take pleasure from fulfilling those steps. You might find that you hold many desires that do not relate to aspirational desires. In that case, you need to look at your various needs, beliefs and expectations for yourself, for others and for the world. A very high probability exists that you hold desires of a nature impossible or highly improbable to fulfil. You will do well to turn your needs into preferences so that you no longer become dependent upon the fulfilment of desires by external forces over which you have no control. You will do well to turn your beliefs into theories about which you can carry out experiments to determine their validity and usefulness. You will do well to turn your expectations into preferences so that you accept the reality that we often cannot get nor have what we would really like from the world and from ourselves.

What now keeps me going in any direction, process or activity now depends upon the pragmatic possibility and probability of fulfilling my desires and whether I have the competency to undertake all the steps required and to overcome the various obstacles that come along. I found the process of resetting all of my desires wonderfully liberating. I have also found it highly conducive to getting things done in my life. Previously, and without realising it, I always battled against the perception of impossibility and improbability of the desires that I sought to fulfil. I continually attempted to use force of character, will power, discipline, organisation and ‘anti-negative symptom’ cures, such as whatever motivational tool or gimmick came my way, to overcome my difficulties. Now I find that I only have to manage my desires very carefully in order to create easy possibilities for myself and in order to function cheerfully and almost effortlessly as well. I no longer need a powerfully strong will and determination in order to get things done. I also don’t need the continuous stream of restorative and recuperative cures for the symptoms of my negative emotions. By managing my desires I don’t give licence for those emotions to spring forth in the first place.

Try this – you will get the most amazing turn around in your life and sense of well-being. You will set free your inherent powers to do the good things in life that you truly desire.

Fundamental Control Of Your Mind Part II 

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