Two of the biggest problems that stops people from getting what they want are that they don’t properly define what they want and nor do they properly define what the problems are that prevent them from getting what they want. Instead, driven by desires and a need for instant gratification they start out with half-baked ideas on how to get the result that they want only to find that their method for doing so is woefully inadequate or that the result that they create is not the result that gives them what they wanted in the first place.

Consequently, if we want to get excellent results in life we must design excellent solutions. Again, this is difficult for many people to accept in the beginning because instead of rushing into action we must curtail our impulses in order to make sure that we don’t waste effort and end up worse off than we were before.

Problem Solving

The root cause of most personal problems lies in a desire. We create either an objective desire, an expectation, a need or a belief that we wish to fulfill. Our inability to fulfill the desire creates negative emotions and we respond to those negative emotions with a broad spectrum of behaviors. Often we don’t like those behaviors because they so rarely solve the root cause and instead the merely defer resolution often indefinitely. Attempting to manage the behavior will almost always result in failure because the symptom still exists and continues to stimulate some form of response. By giving up on the desire we can eliminate the root cause and immediately the symptom stops and no need for a response is necessary.

Sometimes we cannot realistically eliminate the cause of a problem for example, if I consider feeding myself as a problem then the only way to eliminate the cause of that need (the energy requirements of my body) is to cease my life. That’s a little too drastic for me so the next thing to do is to manage the cause and the desires surrounding it effectively and then to develop solutions and systems of implementation. In this case, setting my desires to eat only what I need for good health and not to develop very expensive tastes that require a lot of time and money to satisfy. Implementation comes down to creating a diet and menu that satisfies my basic needs and my higher needs in a way that balances the sacrifice of time, effort and money against levels of satisfaction.

Identifying the Problem

The most important thing about problem solving is to make sure that the real problem is identified and resolved. This requires some thought because many people identify and work upon the wrong cause of a problem and consequently never resolve things properly. We very often become aware of a problem because we need to respond to something. For example, imagine you are sat at a desk on a hot day with a lot of loose-leaf papers lying around. It’s hot and so you open the window. Suddenly, the weather changes and a wind blows into the room. All of the papers get disturbed and start blowing around. This is a problem for you and so you respond by rushing around collecting the papers and stacking them on the desk - where they proceed to get blown away again. After a few minutes of this you realize that things aren’t getting any better and so you shut the window. The wind disappears, the papers settle and you can put things back to normal.

In that example the problem seemed to be ‘papers blowing around’ but it was not the true problem. The wind was the root cause of the problem and ‘papers blowing around’ was a symptom of that problem. The response was to dash about gathering up papers but this proved a never-ending task because the root cause of the problem - the blowing wind - was not stopped. Only by stopping the root cause at its source (by shutting the window) was the symptom (papers blowing around) eliminated and that resulted in no further response once the papers were collected again.

In the case of common problem difficulties it is usually a lack of ability that is the root cause of the problem. For example, if you set an objective desire such as “I want to own a home” and you cannot deliver that desire immediately then your response is to feel bad due to the symptom, a lack of money. The cause of the symptom is actually your current inability to earn and to keep sufficient money to buy a home. The only way that you can deliver the desire is to increase your ability to earn and to keep money.

Specifying the Solution

Once the root cause of the problem has been clearly identified solutions often become apparent. Sometimes the desire is recognized as being either impossible to fulfill, in which case it should be thrown away as to keep wanting the impossible will only lead to depression and despair, or else the desire is recognized as no longer appropriate. Sometimes we think that obtaining something will lead to fulfillment but then find out that this probably won’t happen so although it might be possible to fulfill the desire it is deemed as not worth pursuing, in which case it can be thrown away.

For those desires that we still want to pursue but cannot yet deliver the result the solution usually lies in developing greater capabilities. Although we often desire objects and other end results in truth we actually desire the inherent competency that allows us to deliver almost any result that we care to imagine. Consequently, developing competency and creating high levels of control over the self and over circumstances is what lies at the heart of what drives us. Personal growth leads to the deepest levels of satisfaction because we build our resourcefulness and the power to control our outcomes.

We can start coming up with a solution by asking the question, “What process will most likely lead to the fulfillment of this desire?” The crucial part of that question is the word ‘process’ as this is the part that most people overlook. It is a focus on processes and not results that makes the path to getting what we want so much easier. Results come as by-product of processes; the better the process and the better its execution, the better the result. Focusing on results causes us to focus on what we don’t have right now and that in turn generates negative emotions and attitudinal resistance to getting things done. Focusing on processes causes us to focus on what we can do right now and leads to resourceful action that creates positive emotions and leads to getting things done.

Side note

A lot of goal-setting advice tells you to specify the result that you want in incredible detail so that you can visualize it very, very clearly and the advice often tells you to specify exactly when you will have the end result. I disagree with this method very strongly. I’m not saying that it doesn’t work but I have found it to be highly ineffective to the point of being counterproductive. Such a method focuses too much upon the result and it sets up very high expectations. If the desired result is a long way away from being capable of delivery immediately or in the very near future then this sets up a whole host of impossible to have desires and expectations. This designs difficulty into the whole process. Set-points are created that will only generate negative emotions because the difference between desire and reality is so great. I personally have never fulfilled a goal set in such a method. I usually ended up feeling miserable, blocked and in great conflict with myself. I usually ended up quitting in order to avoid facing up to my own personal inadequacies.

I now take the opposite approach. I focus on developing capabilities at things that I am interested in. I take incremental steps forward and build ability. From this ability I can deliver results. I accept the results that I end up with because realistically I can expect nothing more from myself than what is possible for me to deliver at that given moment. Because I focus on developing my capabilities and upon performing processes better and better the net effect is that my results get better and better. It is incredibly difficult (almost to the point of impossibility) to specify an exact result and to deliver it on time unless you already have the excess of capability to deliver it. I suggest that you don’t burden yourself with such a load as it will only deter you.

Related articles:

Pinnacle Goal Setting Doesn’t Work

Why ‘Why’ Often Doesn’t Help

Formulating a Better Question

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